People believe a myriad of myths pertaining to love. That love is blind, you can’t help who you fall in love with. That someone is your “soulmate”, or that there’s love at first sight. You get the picture right?
But why is it that we base our perceptions of love from infatuated, lustful dispositions? Some of our morals and belief patterns originate when we’re in “puppy wuv”. So I’d like to pose a question. If we we’re fully aware of who we’re “in love” with, would we still believe some of these myths? If we actually got to know certain people, would we still be in love? Can I just say from what I’ve seen in life, some of us have been infatuated with strangers. BOOM! I know I dropped a bomb on you, but let the smoke clear and hear me out.
Our culture operates quickly and swift. And sadly that’s caused for society to shift towards premature, unfinished results. We lack true foundation and structure, because these components take time to build. (Remember, Rome wasn’t built in one day.) Our haste and impatience towards real love produces relationships and unions with strangers. Any work that’s created impatiently, appears outwardly finished but inwardly incomplete. Hence why I titled this blog post “#strangersinlove”.
Remember in Mr. and Mrs. Smith how Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie married? They married based off a steamy, lover’s tryst in a foreign land. But 5-6 years later (after the euphoric honeymoon phase), they discovered they were both undercover assassins, the other working for a rival corporation. Due to a strange twist of events, they both discovered the other’s identity, and tried to kill each other half of the movie. (Now because they decided to work things out, they ended up in counseling.) But the point is that you never really know who you marry, until after you say “I do”.
So is the person sitting across from you at dinner, or the person you’re waking up the in the morning a stranger? Are you in love with the person, or are you in heat over an idea, that doesn’t even exist?
Here are 3 questions I want you to ponder and think on. Some meat to give you to chew on.
1. Do you find yourself talking more about what they do?
It’s easy to fall for a person based off the good they do. Everybody is naturally a good person, until they upset, disagree, or wrong you. When that happens, are their works still enough for you to go off? For example: Avery is an excellent care provider, and a great provider for the family. You can always count on him to show up at home on time, and he’s there for the Christmas holidays. But one day, you find out that Avery has a secret addiction to gambling. OH MY GOODNESS! GAMBLING?! I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW! But what you missed was how after he paid the bills, he’d use the remainder of your money and spend. And lied that ya’ll only had enough money for bills. Do you see how a person’s good deeds, can be a mirage to private battles and struggles? And since you can’t see them, you don’t know if you’re graced to handle those issues.
2. Is passion, attraction, and similar lusts used to keep the relationship going?
Yes, this does include sex. So many people use sex as a distraction, to compensate what they’re missing. Shannon can swoop in and arouse Dave with an array of passion and swift fun. Spontaneous dates and mad, passionate sex makes him think, “Where have you been all my life? You’re the woman I’ve been dreaming of.” But those hot, intense moments overshadow that Shannon is “happily married” to Shawn of 5 years, with a 2 year old son, and a dog named Fefe. Dave doesn’t seem to think why Shannon has to leave right after their steamy love fest. He wish it would continue, but chooses to settle for every moment he can get with her. If those two weren’t immersed by steamy passion, sobriety would settle in, and Dave would understand his value.
3. Do you feel pressured to keep up appearances for the sake of others?
Any relationship that’s maintained by the approval of others is destined to fail. Do you both even like each other as people? Once the curtains close, what will happen behind the scenes? Would you prefer hearing the satisfaction of, “You both make such a cute couple.”, or would rather be familiar with the person you’re smiling in photos with?
I hope this gave you something think about, when a typhoon of temptation come rushing in, to weaken your senses. Time out for marrying strangers.
Until next time!
-Love Cee 💙