#strangersinlove

Lifestyle, Love, Marriage & Relationships, Wisdom & Insight

People believe a myriad of myths pertaining to love. That love is blind, you can’t help who you fall in love with. That someone is your “soulmate”, or that there’s love at first sight. You get the picture right?

But why is it that we base our perceptions of love from infatuated, lustful dispositions? Some of our morals and belief patterns originate when we’re in “puppy wuv”. So I’d like to pose a question. If we we’re fully aware of who we’re “in love” with, would we still believe some of these myths? If we actually got to know certain people, would we still be in love? Can I just say from what I’ve seen in life, some of us have been infatuated with strangers. BOOM! I know I dropped a bomb on you, but let the smoke clear and hear me out.

Our culture operates quickly and swift. And sadly that’s caused for society to shift towards premature, unfinished results. We lack true foundation and structure, because these components take time to build. (Remember, Rome wasn’t built in one day.) Our haste and impatience towards real love produces relationships and unions with strangers. Any work that’s created impatiently, appears outwardly finished but inwardly incomplete. Hence why I titled this blog post “#strangersinlove”.

Remember in Mr. and Mrs. Smith how Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie married? They married based off a steamy, lover’s tryst in a foreign land. But 5-6 years later (after the euphoric honeymoon phase), they discovered they were both undercover assassins, the other working for a rival corporation. Due to a strange twist of events, they both discovered the other’s identity, and tried to kill each other half of the movie. (Now because they decided to work things out, they ended up in counseling.) But the point is that you never really know who you marry, until after you say “I do”.

So is the person sitting across from you at dinner, or the person you’re waking up the in the morning a stranger? Are you in love with the person, or are you in heat over an idea, that doesn’t even exist?

Here are 3 questions I want you to ponder and think on. Some meat to give you to chew on.

1. Do you find yourself talking more about what they do?

It’s easy to fall for a person based off the good they do. Everybody is naturally a good person, until they upset, disagree, or wrong you. When that happens, are their works still enough for you to go off? For example: Avery is an excellent care provider, and a great provider for the family. You can always count on him to show up at home on time, and he’s there for the Christmas holidays. But one day, you find out that Avery has a secret addiction to gambling. OH MY GOODNESS! GAMBLING?! I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW! But what you missed was how after he paid the bills, he’d use the remainder of your money and spend. And lied that ya’ll only had enough money for bills. Do you see how a person’s good deeds, can be a mirage to private battles and struggles? And since you can’t see them, you don’t know if you’re graced to handle those issues.

2. Is passion, attraction, and similar lusts used to keep the relationship going?

Yes, this does include sex. So many people use sex as a distraction, to compensate what they’re missing. Shannon can swoop in and arouse Dave with an array of passion and swift fun. Spontaneous dates and mad, passionate sex makes him think, “Where have you been all my life? You’re the woman I’ve been dreaming of.” But those hot, intense moments overshadow that Shannon is “happily married” to Shawn of 5 years, with a 2 year old son, and a dog named Fefe. Dave doesn’t seem to think why Shannon has to leave right after their steamy love fest. He wish it would continue, but chooses to settle for every moment he can get with her. If those two weren’t immersed by steamy passion, sobriety would settle in, and Dave would understand his value.

3. Do you feel pressured to keep up appearances for the sake of others?

Any relationship that’s maintained by the approval of others is destined to fail. Do you both even like each other as people? Once the curtains close, what will happen behind the scenes? Would you prefer hearing the satisfaction of, “You both make such a cute couple.”, or would rather be familiar with the person you’re smiling in photos with?

I hope this gave you something think about, when a typhoon of temptation come rushing in, to weaken your senses. Time out for marrying strangers.

Until next time!

-Love Cee 💙

Advertisements

#superwoman

Uncategorized

To all my music lovers out, here’s a classic just for you.

As I contemplate what my fingers should type, my mind is racing over everything in my atmosphere. I didn’t know how to express my anxious thoughts or my slight OCD when things aren’t in order. What way could I share with the world that I’ve struggled with control issues? Not the control where I’m wielding a whip, and whipping people into subjection. But that inner yearning for things to go how I plan them to. But this month (including my birthday, the 18th) I saw how inwardly unglued I become when life overwhelms my plans. Even as I type this blog from my phone I ask myself, “Why does my world unravel when things don’t go my way?” Is it because I’m a spoiled, entitled brat who always heard yes growing up? Nah. Was I trained to be a tyrant to force my will on another, and get my way? Sorry, but no. So what was the issue here?

Then it dawns upon me that I was groomed from a little girl to be a superwoman. I was taught to be strong, independent, and the backbone to everyone else. It was engraved in my mind that I had to “make things happen” for myself. Because if I waited on another (particularly one of the opposite sex), nothing would materialize.

So I pushed myself into being everything for everyone… Well at least what I was able to give. (A lot of times we give others what was given to us. And what we received wasn’t what we needed.) I had to be the hero for everyone in my life. If friends had a problem, I’d work tirelessly to help find a solution until it was found. If my mother was upset, I did everything in my power to make her happy again. If my father didn’t feel loved or respected, I went out of my way to prove he was father of the year. I was always expected to be “the strong one”, and because I thought I should I did. I felt as if I was a failure or a bad person if I wasn’t there for others.

So for most of my life, I based my being on the welfare of others. It didn’t matter to me if I was okay, because all that mattered to me was if they were fine. But the saddest part wasn’t that I neglected caring for myself, or that I didn’t know who I was. I was trying to save people who didn’t want to be saved.

Imagine a woman needing rescue from a burning building, and Superman came and rescued her. But then she wanted to go back inside. Then Superman risks his life AGAIN to go back inside to rescue her. How many times can he save her from a burning building that’s being destroyed? If she keeps going back in, she’s not only risking her safety but Superman’s as well. I can’t tell you how many times I tried playing Superman. And how many burns I’m recovering from as a result of diving into fiery situations.

Alicia Keys’ Grammy-award winning song “Superwoman” was one of my favorite songs. (I can’t tell you how many times I attempted the high notes at the end of the song.) Back then, I loved the concept of being a superwoman. That song made me think I would have superpowers, a sky blue cape (my fave color), and be able to fly. Ashton Kutcher should’ve came out and told me I was being punk’d.

Little did I know donning the role of a superhero would bring me unwanted stress, sleepless nights, and inner anxiety. I thought being a superwoman would give me a voice, but I found myself muzzled and mute. Drowning in the sea of endless demands and expectations (from others AND myself, spoken and unspoken), I almost lost myself. Who would’ve thought that circumstantial heroism was so draining. And it didn’t help that I didn’t lean on Christ for help and strength. I was a train wreck about to crash, and a ticking time bomb ready to explode.

It’s one thing for heroism to reign in a time of crisis. But it’s different when it’s due to poor choices from others. I salute all the women who were thrusted into heroism (sometimes against their will). But some of us aren’t heroines, we’re enablers. Why can I say that? Because I was a HUGE enabler to others. I thought I was helping them, but I was actually harming them. I wasn’t a hero, I was a villain.

I shared some of my story with you, because I want you assess if you’re a hero or a villain (enabler). Check your motives, and make sure you’re not trying to fill a void. Lord knows I sure was, and it almost killed me.

Warning: Some of you are going to realize you’ve been an enabler for others. And when you decide to change that, some will accuse you of “switching up”. You’ll be label as acting “brand new”, and that you don’t love them. If people are using guilt trip and other manipulative tactics, you’re moving forward in the right direction. The journey to true heroism is a long but fulfilling one. And if you need a support system to encourage, build, and hold you accountable through this, I have the solution for you. Being a part of Authentic Vessel has given me the support needed to care for myself guilt-free. Knowing that there are others like me who overcame what I struggled with is refreshing. Authentic Vessel is full of imperfect people trying to become whole. I’m so glad to have people who’ve been willing to walk this journey with me.

To stay connected and updated with Authentic Vessel, follow, like, and share the Authentic Vessel page on ALL social media. You don’t want to miss what’s up ahead!

Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat: @authenticvessel

Let’s all go and be real heros!

Let’s start off the day with a fresh cup of coffee, and a fresh perspective! I love you!

Scripture Inspiration: Proverbs 3:5-6, Genesis 13:7-9

To stay connected with me, follow me on Instagram @freshperspectiveinc!

#masterpiece

Encouragement, Lifestyle, Wisdom & Insight

A masterpiece is a work of art that others appreciate. It’s appealing to the eyes, and captivating to the senses. Many desire to touch it once it’s completed. Everyone loves a masterpiece… when it’s a finished product.

Every masterpiece has a beginning, an origin, or inception. But the genesis of every masterpiece isn’t a sight to see. Actually it’s quite repulsive to gaze at. Society is instinctively repelled by small beginnings. Anything that isn’t working or functioning, we deem it useless. Most overlook a masterpiece in the early phases. And so much work is detained and halted by other’s opinions. I must sound like an expert at this. That’s because I lived life being ignored and overlooked. Since I wasn’t a finished product, I was thrown aside and left for dead.

But fate ordained me to encounter someone who reached out for me. When I was drowning in the mud of my past, God pulled me out and cleaned me up. He started to prune, cut, and mold me. I wasn’t a lost cause in his sight, I was just someone who lost her way. A mirror marred with life’s fingerprints. A first place trophy that needed to be polished off.

Everyday I’m being prepped to step into my purpose. Because I’m uniquely made, my unveiling won’t happen overnight. This process is grueling and intense. Thankfully God placed me in the right hands.

There are many people who’ll pass you by early on. Then there are some God allows access to see your journey. These people see the masterpiece behind the mess. Everything they encountered in life prepared them to handle you. They’re intentionally equipped for someone like you. And they have the skills to masterfully craft you into a prized piece. I can truly say I’ve encountered one of these individuals.

A couple of months ago, my motivation was stale and I didn’t care. My passion and drive for purpose was unfocused. And I was operating from a depleted tank. I was a train wreck waiting to happen. But through a lifesaving connection, I met a young woman who had what I needed. I heard a lot about her from other sources, and they spoke highly of her. People kept telling me I needed to meet her, so I wanted to see for myself. I thought I would meet someone like those in the past, because of past disappointment. But after hearing her on Periscope one night, I immediately knew she was the real deal. It wasn’t the fact that she was praying and worshipping. But every word she spoke delicately soothed certain wounds I had. When I was listening to her, I could feel God’s presence with me. I wasn’t foaming at the mouth and doing flips. But I had a strong desire to change how my life was. I was tired of getting similar results off the same actions. I was exasperated with seeing others advance forward, but I’m stuck in a cycle. Listening to her showed me I was living below my potential. That there was another level of greatness that I should aspire to. Her words reignited my fire and inspired me to level up my game. You meet people in passing and may remember their words. But this one woman is an experience. One that you will never forget. Her name is Jasmine, Jasmine Carty.

Life is difficult and complex on its own. But having divine connections assist you through seasons and transitions. Ever since I met Jasmine, I’ve become more accountable and responsible. (Those are some traits God was trying to get out me for 2 years!) I can truly say she’s one of the realest believers I’ve ever met. When she says she loves Christ and other people, she means it. She’ll gladly tell you she’s flawed and imperfect, but God is the reason she perseveres. I pray whoever reads this will meet someone like her, and experiences the love of God through them.

But until then, you can follow her on social media @authenticvessel! From encouragement, inspiration, business, and humor, Authentic Vessel will keep you at the edge of your seat. So buckle up and slick those edges down, and prepare for an experience of a life time!

Until next time, let’s wake up with a fresh cup of coffee and a fresh perspective! Bye!

Scripture Inspiration: Zechariah 4:10, Proverbs 27:17

Instagram: @authenticvessel

Facebook: Authentic Vessel

Twitter: @authenticvessel

Snapchat: @authenticvessel

#sobrietyiscalling

Lifestyle, Love, Marriage & Relationships, Music, Wisdom & Insight

I’ll never forget when I first heard Evanescence’s song “Call Me When You’re Sober” in middle school. I fell in love with Amy Lee’s strong, yet melancholy mezzo-soprano vocals that effortlessly intertwined with the piano. The intro of this song was a cry to the angsty, tired women of the 21st century. Her incessant pleas to her deluded boyfriend still rings in my mind. Here’s the lyrics for memory’s sake.

Don’t cry to me. If you loved me You would be here with me. You want me Come find me. Make up your mind.

Ladies, how many times have you begged your man to do or DON’T do something? But each time it goes in one ear and out the other. Fellas, you keep begging your lady to spend more time with you (some husbands want” extra time” with your wives 👀👀👀), and you don’t see a change. Why is it when someone is on the brink of leaving, the other party “miraculously” decides to “change their ways”. (Excuse all the air quotes. Much sarcasm intended.) Why is it that our silence speaks volumes than our everyday language? Better yet, why do so many of us beg people who proclaim to love us for the bare minimum? I don’t understand why do we fight hard for people who aren’t even in the ring.

Why do we beg others to do the basics of everyday life… And it’s for THEIR benefit. I know what it’s like to be strung along hoping for people to change. But if all you have to offer is tears and excuses, save some saline and keep your words. We were never created to toil incessantly through life since life has enough hardships. There’s still a level of joy, peace, and righteousness needed to thrive in life. You and I weren’t born to demand people to desire better from life. It’s time you and I start believing people when they show they’re wasting your time. Whether in their words, actions, or mannerisms, they’ve made their points clear. So now we must raise the bar in our standards, and quit making excuses for trifling behaviors. I know Amy Lee said “call me when you’re sober.” But better yet call Jesus.

Each of us has a standard God called us to live by. If some refuse to adhere to those conditions, then some reevaluating and repositioning should happen. Enough with us having to beg for something that’s a requirement.

I can only imagine how God feels when he constantly corrects his people on elementary principles. I can’t believe it’s 2018 and studying our Bibles is suuuuuuuch a chore. All the times God kept nudging me to live out the minimum requirements of a believer for MY benefit. And I didn’t care for a long time.

Listen, there’s only so much time that others and God will issue out. But once time runs out, it’s a wrap. Please don’t be one who waits until the last minute to care. Someone will plead with you only so much. So when you decide to sober up, make sure it’s not too late.

Let’s not be slack in living out standards and requirements. It’s ultimately for our benefit. God’s already mapped the way, we just have to walk it out.

Until next time, let’s start the day off with a fresh cup of coffee and a fresh perspective!

“To much is given, much is required.” – Based off of Luke 12:48

“Humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time. Casting all your care upon; for he cares for you.” – 1 Peter 5:6-7

Photo Credits: http://www.picslyrics.net Lyric Credits: http://www.metrolyrics.com/call-me-when-youre-sober-lyrics-evanescence.html

Podcast Podbean App: Getting Back to Me @Celethia Josey

Instagram: @freshperspectiveinc

Periscope: @CelethiaJosey

#havanavibes

Lifestyle, Music, Wisdom & Insight

Hey beautiful people! I want to pose a question. What feelings do you experience when you listen to Camila Cabello’s song “Havana”? Do you experience waves of infatuation? Does it remind you of a fresh fling with a lover? Does it make you want to take off to Havana for a getaway? I know when I first heard that song, I wanted to get some box braids, and take a trip to Havana! I wanted to go on the beach, and run my toes through the sand. And then have the waves swish the sand away. After that I would dance the night away.

Do you see the power of music, imagery, and lyricism. Camila painted a picture that shifted our minds to a state of Latin euphoria. I’m not Cuban and I’m single, but its hot, Latin sounds made me think I was.

Understand that catchy hooks and beats have a way of taking you out of reality. And for some of you, that’s a great thing. I understand, I wish I could live in Havana land and radiate “Havana Vibes”. But unfortunately life has responsibilities, and I have an assignment to complete. I’d love to go on a vacay with my love and engross myself with our adventures. But in Christ I’m not living for myself anymore. And there are many lives attached to my choices.

Everytime I stroll through the mall, I blast “Havana” on repeat. But when the song is over and my battery dies, I’m forced to inhale the stench of reality. How many of us use music as an escape? Or a substitute to compensate how empty our lives are. Our problems are faint when the music is playing. But what happens when the music stops?

I can’t tell you what to do with your time. But don’t waste it living in what could’ve been instead of what it should be. Trust me, Havana Vibes will wear off.

Music is a gift from God, but it should never be a substitute for him. He created music to glorify him, reveal his character and who Jesus is. Not as a tool for perpetual escapism.

Let’s start the day off with a fresh cup of coffee (for those who are snowed in some hot cocoa as well), and a fresh perspective!

Photo credit: http://www.cuba2day.com

Podbean Podcast App: Getting Back to Me @CelethiaJosey

Instagram: @freshperspectiveinc

Facebook: @CelethiaJosey

Periscope: @CelethiaJosey

#nosugamamasin2018

Lifestyle, Love, Marriage & Relationships, Wisdom & Insight

Hey lovely people! I hope you’re having a good week thus far. I’m going to touch on something today, and you may want to buckle up for this one.

WARNING: Side effects from this post will be snatched baby hairs, eyebrows, and eyelashes. Do not read while eating or drinking. Read separately, or read together at your own risk.

In a world where women pay the bills, and their men eat up their groceries, and raise up their Netflix bill. Where women are paying to take guys out to eat, AND drive. Where we all had the magic question… Where are the real men hiding? Are they hiding in the friend zone behind the blatant bad boy we offer a million chances to? Are they in a waiting list of DM’s and text messages you curved (ignored)? Are they in a lower tax bracket than you? But I think I found one place they’re hiding in, and you wouldn’t have even thought to look there.

Real men are alive and doing very well. But we’ve placed them in holding cells due to our lack awareness. We’ve missed out on “real men”, because of some of our favorite club bangers/hits/songs. You may have forgotten over a decade ago we were jammimg to being a suga mama… To a grown man. Yes, a suga mama. To those of you who don’t know what a suga mama is, here’s a clear-cut definition from urbandictionary.com

Suga mama: “a woman who takes care of a guy financially”.

Some of us have been angry at men (even contemplating crossing over to the other team), because of pumping our minds with certain songs. Lyrics that sounded cute a decade ago, are bittersweet to the soul now. We get frustrated at men for not wanting to step up, but we’ve allowed ourselves to be duped by entertainers who don’t live what they sing. Stop and think to yourselves; have we ever seen the people singing this message act like a suga mama? I’ll wait…

Can we all just admit that we’ve been played by people who sold an agenda?

Better yet, let’s speak on how many saved, sanctified, tongue-talking Christian women act like spiritual suga mamas. Instead of allowing God to transform men with the Holy Spirit’s power, we want to mold them into our dream doll. We complain that there aren’t men of God, but in actuality some don’t want a husband, they want a Ken doll to their Barbie. We’ll teach them scriptures based on what WE want them to fulfill. And in return, we let them fill an empty void that we won’t let God occupy.

I won’t be too hard on you because I used to be a suga mama in my own fashion. I realized that being one will never give you the ending you hope for. We’ve created a system that enables and pacifies most men from taking responsibility, and stepping into their roles in society. We must stop the cycle now, or our sons will expect our daughters to baby them.

I pray your understanding was breathed on by the Holy Spirit’s guidance and revelation. May you let him show you the right way to follow. If Jesus Christ is your savior, he’ll empower you to break this systematic cycle of codependency and laziness.

I love you all. And until next time, let’s start off this morning with a fresh cup of coffee, and a fresh perspective. Bye!

“If a man doesn’t work, he doesn’t eat.” Based on 2 Thessalonians 3:10

#GOTTAWORK

Lifestyle, Wisdom & Insight

(I don’t own the rights to this photo!)

Welcome to 2018, the year where everything changes based on your obedience and effort. Where your gifts aren’t enough to establish you without divine strategy and integrity. Where you’ll be passed over someone not as gifted as you, but they put in the work. Be like the latter person not the former. Happy New Year!

There’s a lovely tune from my girl (figure of speech) Amerie back from 2007/08-ish called “Gotta Work”. The title is self-explanatory, but as I read the lyrics I became inspired. I believe these lyrics resonate something God requires from us this year. Here’s a snippet.

[Hook:]
Sometimes it’s gonna be days like this
Sometimes it’s gonna be rain like this
Sometimes you’re gonna feel pain like this
Sometimes you gotta work hard for it
Cause when you feeling low
And you can’t get no lower
That’s when you know your close
Sometimes you gotta work hard for it

[Verse 1:]
Woke up in the morning
It’s another cloudy day but
That never mattered too much to me, hey
Cause it’s still a new beginning
And I know I got it in me
Had my share of ups and downs
But now I know that I can do anything

I know you had highs and lows between 2015-2017, and wanted to throw in the towel. So did I. I thought I was entitled to what I wanted because I’m gifted. That I could operate in mediocrity with minimum effort, and expect stellar results. Some of us (I was one of yall as well) want to be MULTI-BILLIONAIRES rocking a ten-dollar work ethic. If not work-ethic, your attitude and integrity. And we expect sweet Father God to snap his fingers, and summon his mighty angels to move on your expectations… HA! Remember that wonderful scripture that said, “Faith without works is dead.” James 2:14-17

No ever said hard work was easy. That’s why it’s called hard work!

Sidebar: Doing life without God in 2018 (or period) will have you living a life of hard work. You’ll go through another year beaten and battered from life’s bruises. You’ll exert physical (and mental… And emotional) energy that you could save for another year.

But in Christ, your failures in the past 3 years will work in your favor. God will use those experiences as pearls of knowledge to steer others in the right direction. AND you’ll have content to create products. Tip: People with problems pay for products packed with solutions. So don’t despise your mishaps and mistakes.

In Christ, every breath in your body is a chance for a fresh start. And you have power and strength from the Holy Spirit to be your driving source. But don’t be ones (like how I was) wanting Holy Spirit’s power, but not activating it with intentional work.

May you and I do the work necessary to see God’s treasures in 2018. And I pray that if any of you don’t know who Jesus is, or what’s the hype. Or if you left God because of seeing a lack of work ethic in Christians. I decree and declare that God surrounds everyone who reads this blog with Holy Spirit-filled believers. May you experience the love, direction, and fatherhood of God. And that you experience salvation, acceptance, and transformation through Jesus Christ. That God will prove himself to you who are without hope and belief. In Jesus mighty name, Amen!

Until next time. Let’s start the day off with a fresh cup of coffee, and a fresh perspective!

Podbean Podcast App: Getting Back to Me

Instagram: @freshperspectiveinc

Periscope: @CelethiaJosey

Source of lyrics: https://genius.com/Ameriie-gotta-work-lyrics